Blog #4: Dating and Mating

In the article “The Decline of the Date and the Rise of the College Hook Up,” England and Thomas discuss how dating, which was once very common has been replaced by hooking up, especially among young adults in their college years. It seems as though dating, which was commonly done between two people during the time when they were getting to know one another, is now generally done by people who are already in a committed relationship, or as the article says “an exclusive romantic relationship.” Now it seems as though dating is something that is done once two people have decided that they want to be serious with one another when it previously was done in order for the two to get to know one another. Hooking up, which depending on who you ask can have a different meaning, seems to be what is taking the place of dating. However, unlike dating, hooking up involves some type of sexual activity, though no necessarily sexual intercourse and commonly occurs when those involved have been drinking alcohol. While each case is different, sometimes hook ups are one-time events while in other instances; hook ups can take place between the same two people over a period of time. The article goes on to discuss how the sexual behavior of women has become more accepted however there is still a double standard compared to the acceptance of men and their sexual behavior.

From my experience in college, though not my own but from what I have seen and heard, I agree with much that England and Thomas say in their article. Hooking up is something that has become very common among many college students, though the specific details of each hook vary greatly. It seems as though dating really has been replaced by hooking up; and that dating has become more common among two individuals who are already in a committed relationship. I also agree with the article’s argument about how promiscuity between males and females is not looked at in the same way. While many males are commended by fellow males for how many females they have sex with, how soon they have sex with a female, etc. females who do the same thing are frowned upon.

The second article, titled “After the Sexual Revolution: Gender Politics in Teen Dating,” shows very different results. In this article we learn that the sexual activity among teens has been decreasing, however this does not mean that teens are not sexually active. During the 90s it seems as though there has been a rise in teens being more sexually conservative. The article also points out that not only did sexual activity among teens decrease, but the amount of “serious problems that can result from irresponsible teenage sexuality” decreased as well. The article offers a few reasons as to why there has been a decline in teenage sexual activity. Some of these reasons are: the success of abstinence education, the positive effect of comprehensive sex education, the cultural backlash against the sexual revolution, or the fear of disease. The article also talks about how many teenagers today have a different idea of what it means to be in a relationship. As the article points out, many teens today may consider a relationship that is only two weeks old as a relationship so if sexual activity does take place in such a relationship it is not considered to be casual sex, while older generations may not share the same viewpoint.

It is obvious that as time goes by, the acceptance of sexuality is something that is becoming more and more pronounced, which makes the fact that sexual activity among teens is decreasing, even more interesting. However, one issue that I had with this article and its findings is that the definition of a relationship wasn’t one that was clearly stated and agreed upon by everyone. The article even states that teenagers had a different perception of what a relationship was than did many adults. This discrepancy is crucial because sexual activities that took place between people in what a teenager described as a relationship were what many adults considered to be casual sex because these relationships were relatively new and were not considered to be very serious quite yet. Also, while the article does state statistics and such, it seems somewhat surprising that there has been such a decline in teenage sexual activity.

According to the Risman and Schwartz article, the main trends in sexual activity among teens are that there has been a decline in sexual activity among this population. It seems as though more teens have learned from the mistakes that many of their parents made during the 60s and 70s also known as the time of the sexual revolution. Also, teens have become more aware of the dangers that can result from sexual activity, such as STDs, pregnancy, and so on. It appears as though the rates of these dangers have fallen faster than that of the rates of sexual activity meaning that this population has become more responsible when it comes to sex. Another observation that has been made is that there has especially been a decrease in teenage boys’ sexual activity, which can mainly be attributed to teenage girls and their “increasing control over the conditions of sexual intercourse” meaning that today it is more common for teenage girls to want to be in committed relationships before consenting to have sexual relations with their partner and are more likely to want to engage in safer sex. As I stated before, the author attributes much of these trends to teenagers being more aware of the mistakes made by many of their parents and also to the idea of not having what they consider to be “casual sex.”

According to the England and Thomas article, the main trends in romantic and sexual behavior among college students are the decline in dating and the rise in hooking up, however the dating that does occur generally takes place between two people who are already involved in a romantic relationship and not between two people who are just getting to know one another. It is important to note that each individual has his/her own perceptions of what it means to “hook up,” however most do not include actual sexual intercourse as hooking up. Also, while in the past many relationships were the results of two people dating, this does not mean that today there is necessarily a decline in relationships as there is in dating. Surprisingly many students are in romantic, exclusive relationships. Many students surveyed in Thomas and England’s article believed that sexual activity should be something that occurs only in exclusive relationships; however men were more likely to say that casual sex is okay, while women were more likely to say that they wanted hook ups to eventually evolve into exclusive relationships.

The gender differences that are documented in both of these articles are that it is more acceptable for males, whether it’s teen boys or males in college, to be sexually active. A gender difference discussed in the England and Thomas article was how men and women described the occurrence of orgasms between themselves and their partners. It was obvious that it was more common for men to report having orgasm than their partners did. Also, men had reported that their female partners had experienced and orgasm more than the women had reported having an orgasm, which is rather interesting. Another common theme in the same article was that men were more likely to want to engage in hook ups with women while more women were hoping that hook ups would eventually become more serious relationships. One reason for this may be because women were more likely to be judged for their involvement in sexual activity. Some gender differences in the other article were that it was the teen boys who had reported more of a decline in sexual activity than did the teen girls. Also, black teenage girls, who had once had a higher rate of sexual activity than did teenage girls of other races, were also declining in their rates of sexual activity and were becoming comparable to white and Hispanic teenage girls. Another possible explanation for the decrease in sexual activities between teenagers is that more teenage girls were starting to take control over what sexual activity does or doesn’t take place and many limiting these types of activities to only when the two are a part of a serious relationship.

In both my experiences of being in high school and in college, I can say that what I have experienced and witnessed are very similar to what was described in both articles. In high school it was definitely more common for people to be in serious relationships than it was for two people to just hook up. I think that much of this has to do with the fact that I attended a small, private school and there were only sixty-two students in my graduating class. As a result of this, it left very few options for people to hook up with because we were already a very tight group; however that is not to say that hooking up did not occur in my high school because it did, but it was just not as common as exclusive relationships were. In college, however, I have absolutely seen a lot more instances of hooking up than people being in serious relationships within my social circle. I feel that a common reason as to why this occurs is because many people believe that college is the period of time where they are supposed to “live it up” and many people do not want to be in an exclusive relationship during this time. Also, as the article by England and Thomas stated, many hook ups were the result of two people who had drinking, and it is common for alcohol to be more accessible to students in college as compared to those in high school. Also, there seems to be a lot more interaction between people outside of college campuses, which makes the number of people a person can potentially hook up with even greater.